As I was listening to NPR while driving home yesterday (A thing I recommend be done only sparingly and with great vigilance) I heard about the battle being waged in Maine over same-sex marriage. You can read the story here. As I listened I thought about the audacity of a group that would attempt to change the definition of an institution which has been established and unchanged for millennia. I wondered at the mind set that thinks a “thing” can be redefined merely because of its observer’s wish. It seemed to me (and still does) that such a person might equally state that a rock is now an eggplant and that it would be so just because they desire it to be. It is not as though such people are insane, i.e. they do not look at a rock and see an eggplant. It is that they believe the identity or meaning of a “thing” has no reference outside of their wish or desire. It is not perception so much as it is will. A thing may be a thing only if they allow it to be. It has no “thing-ness” outside of their desire/will.
I also thought about the word “entitlement”. I never cease to be amazed at the sense of entitlement people can have. Those who would change the definition of marriage would do so because they feel entitled to “marry” their partner and gain all the benefits there of. I tried to trace this thought pattern back to it’s source, and I came back to desire. It is as though we believe that if we desire something strongly enough or have desired it for long enough that somehow we “deserve” it or we are “owed” it. If we want it, it must be good and right. We begin to feel antagonistic toward those who would presume to deny us this desire. If someone disagrees they must be ignorant, bigoted, or worse.
So some questions I have include:
- At what point did reality begin to depend on our will/desire? Reality is what it is. Reason dictates that a thing is what it is whether I like/want/appreciate/agree with it or not. Certainly a thing cannot be “A” and “non-A” at the same time and in the same relationship. The essence of a thing is not affected one little bit by my perception of it, belief in it or desire concerning it.
- When was it established that desire would equate with entitlement? My desire for something does not equate to my being owed that thing…no matter how long I have wanted it nor how strongly I want it. When I think about it clearly, I am owed precious little in life.
Some may object that in the case of marriage, it is not an “absolute” reality but rather a “societal” reality, or that marriage has no meaning outside of what a society defines. Such a belief is convenient for those in a society who would change the meaning of marriage. If they can achieve change through whatever course allowed by their particular society then it will be altered in actuality. However such a belief comes from somewhere. All ideas do. In this case, most likely the society gave themselves the right to define marriage. They assumed ownership of the definition. Such self-empowerment may be appropriate when setting arbitrary laws such as a speed limit but is marriage arbitrary? Does the history of marriage extend from before such a society was in place? Of course it does. Marriage was created and given definition at creation…by the Creator. When some religious leaders of His day asked Jesus about the permanence of marriage, to what point did He refer His answer? Did He quote Roman law? No, He quoted Genesis:
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 19:3-9
So, concerning the definition of marriage, we would do well remember its origin, respect its creator and subjugate our own desires to His decree.
